Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Scandals, Mysteries and Intrigues: Canada Has Got It All!

An American commenter on this site recently suggested that what Canada needs is a good scandal. Omigawd, is he out of touch. Do we have scandal? Do we have salacious intrigue? Get a load of these apples:

* Severed Feet!
As of today, six severed feet in running shoes have washed up on the shores of British Columbia. The feet started to appear late last summer and have all washed up on the same small section of coastline. For a while it was thought that the feet came from a plane crash from which four bodies are missing, but as of today there are five right feet. As the story grows, the pace of feet-finding is picking up.

The media reports have been deliciously enigmatic. From The Globe: "Oceanographer Curtis Ebbesmeyer said that... some beaches attract certain types of flotsam, and the plethora of feet on B.C. shores may be an example of that. "The ocean sorts things out to an exquisite degree," he said. "Some beaches collect just left shoes; others collect right shoes.""

* Northern Femme Fatale Fells the Mighty!
She slept with one senior civil servant in an apparent attempt to obtain government contracts, but when he wasn't helpful she shifted to the then Industry minister and later Minister of Foreign Affairs. When he didn't pony up she somehow acquired some sensitive government documents and produced them in such a dramatic way that he was forced to resign. Ouch! Daily revelations detail her dalliances with bikers and mafiosa. This story has legs: it has captivated the world for weeks, dubiously putting Canada "on the map".

* Hockey Night in Canada Loses its Theme Song!
This story is just about as sad and pathetic as Canada losing its national sport to a country that doesn't even like hockey. Composer Dolores Claman had a chance to go in the annals of Canadian history as a hero, but instead she will be forever reviled as a money-grubbing monster. That's how I feel, and I don't even follow hockey.

* Former Prime Minister Awash in Cash from Arms Dealer!
Hmmm... This was all fun and games when we were talking about people losing their feet, but now it's just sad.


1 comment:

Idealistic Pragmatist said...

That's how I feel, and I don't even follow hockey.